Monday, July 31, 2006

Local Zero was right!!!!!!!!

Expats and foreigners! You see what happens when you dont take my advice and buy this book??

Dubai: A Kuwaiti who was caught bringing in six grams of hashish at the Dubai International Airport will spend four years in jail, a court ruled yesterday. The Dubai Court of First Instance said 34-year-old Y.A. will be deported after serving his sentence.

Silly dumbass. The Kuwaiti sucker should of paid the six hundred dirhams and bought my book 'Middle Eastern Wasta for Newbies' (see previous post). Who the fcuk he thinks he is? Dallas Austin?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Because I care...

click the photo for clearer image

Wiley Publishing, Inc have approached me (last night when I was dreaming) to write a selection of books for all the expats out there, because they know I care for your welfare.

I think these books which I have written (all since I have woken up) will be much more beneficial than Yahya's boring Getting Cross Cultural series on Secret Arabian I. Yes?

For those who want to buy a copy of this book, I will open a PayPal account soon. Each book will be around Dh600 each but I will be making a special edition of the Khaleej Times book available for free to their journalists and editors. In that version I will teach them how to write in good English..or at least to the level I speak. ;-)



FOR DUMMIES® is a registered trademark of Wiley Publishing, Inc., a subsidiary of John Wiley & Sons, Inc, so you guys dont try to sue me for infringement of copyrights blah-di-fcukin-blah...

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Killing Joke

Dubai: World leaders were making frenetic efforts to find a solution to the crisis in Lebanon, even as Israel continued its incessant bombardment of the battered country for the sixth straight day

Gulfnews.

What is this? A comedy? The one man who could influence the Zionist bastards to stop bombing Lebanon and Gaza is the one man who is justifying these attacks.

That one man is also a joke. What kind of world leader can be taken seriously when his international counterparts take the piss out of him in front of his face during live international press conferences?

Kudos to the Russian premier on that jab you made at Bush on the subject of Russian Democrazy and Iraq. This man is a walking disaster and I had only wished more al-qa3da trained pretzels had been sent out to the White House on their assignation attempts for this guy! Fcuking dumbass.

Now this fcuking dumbass since he came into power has totally screwed up the Middle East and Afghanistan, making peace a fiction and intiating WW3. Yes folks coz World War 3 has officially begun. Why? Because while this dumbass was wasting time lying about fictional WMDs in Iraq, the country that was the real threat (North Korea) were busy perfecting ways to split atoms…and boasting about it.

Thank you American people for allowing this man to do four more years of damage. I know half of you didn’t like him but your patriots that Zionist Lobby and Evangelical Christian power house now has this incompetent and embarrising puppet to do their dirty work for them.

_____________________________________________________________


On a side note: Kudus to BBC News for showing a balanced assessment of this attack and fcuk you MBC4 and ABC for insulting us with your 'Israel are the victims and justified in their killing' reports. MBC you are an embarrassment.
But another Kudos to CNN, there is a funny news program called the Daily Show that I recommend that you watch, here this clever and open minded Jewish guy skillfully knows how to dissect a Bush and expose him for the idiot he really is.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A credit to our nation





I read this article, this morning in the Gulf News Online, and it made me smile....

Lubna Al Qassimi a true
Local Hero

Tagged by Ahmed

This very late reply to a tag from Ahmed from Desert Mirage. Sorry dude.

20 Years Ago I...
* Was being a troublemaker.
* Went to Germany with my folks and hurt my knee.
* Got a baby brother.

10 Years Ago I...
* Was being a troublemaker.
* Bought A Motorcycle
* Sold My Motorcycle

5 Years Ago I...
* Was in London for a month
* Started at AUD
* Was being a troublemaker.

3 Years Ago I...
* Was being a troublemaker.
* Got my first babygirl
* Got my thumb caught in a sliding door of a van...I was infront of some girls when it happened, so I couldnt scream in pain and I couldnt put one almighty beating on the 10 year boy old who closed that door afterwards.

1 Year Ago I...
* I started my Masters degree, aced most of my classess accept International Banking which I barely made a pass mark in.
* Went camping in Hatar for a week
* Flew with Emirates for the 1st time. Leanred i was paying for service I could of got for better and cheaper on Qatar Airways.

So Far This Year, I...
* Moved to KSA and got a new job as a Project Manager
* Have been working on getting a baby boy.
* Stopped being a trouble maker (ya3ny took a break)

Yesterday, I...
* Had to shout at one of my sub-ordinates very loudly on the phone for 15 minutes, because he made a couple of major errors. Felt bad afterwards coz the whole office heared my voice and I think maybe some people in the next building may have heared as well.
* Started looking for a new car
* Wife bought an iPod Hi-Fi boom box type thing for the living room. Now our neighbours love us.

Today, I...
* Had a face to face meeting with the guy who screwed up. Had some coffee made for him and we discussed calmly on how to rectify the problems he made. I think we both felt better afterwards.
* Have two more meetings and a shit load of paperwork to do.
* Am happy that Summer is going into full swing and that means work should slow down next week for the next couple of months at most.

Tommorow, Inshallah I Will...
* Rent Pirates of the Caribbean 1...coz everyone is telling me how good it is and i havent seen it yet.
* Book our tickts for a week long break in Cairo.
* Have another meeting with a client :-(

In The Next Year, Inshallah, I Will...
* Return back to the UAE maybe, or spend another year in KSA.
* Resume being a trouble maker.
* Get payed tripple what I am now

I Will tag...NO ONE, coz its too late.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

That Palestinian Puzzle

Once again the Arab world looks on like a bunch of p*ssy's as the Israeli aggression against the Palestians continues to go on unchallenged. I am sure like many people already realize, this situation is not going to have a happy ending… and so much for democrazy in the Middle East, if doesn’t tie in with what the West wants.

The Palestinian problem is like a puzzle. On the one hand, terrorism is wrong and killing innocents are wrong. The guerilla tactics arnt working and only act as an excuse for the Israelies to continue their collective punishment of the larger Arab population, but on the other hand people can argue that Israel is a war zone and even the 'civilians' present there is an act of aggression making the Palestinian militants have every right to protect their existence by targeting these people.

What options do Palestinians have? If it was any other two peoples (I am hesitant to say nations) the international community would of cracked down heavily on those playing the role of the Israelis and be talking sanctions and similar rhetoric.

We need to take steps and help these people. We at Secret Arabian have been discussing on different occasions the subject of Nationalizing foreigners and although Zanzibarian and Iranian people have origins from the Gulf we should also be doing more to nationalize and help the Palestinians. This is the least we can do, because we seem too scared to do anything else.


Here's a radicle idea, maybe its time to move the Palestinians out of Palestinians and integrate them into the Arab world. Nationlize them all. What would the international community do then? This symbolic gesture may not be viewed as an act of surrender but infact defiance and show the world that what Israel is doing is wrong. I don’t agree with this idea of course, but as the saying goes 'lets try to think outside of the box.' I am just so fcuking tired of seeing these people being treated like animals and then being villainized because they respond like animals.