Monday, October 31, 2005

Dirty

Diss Number # 8

Dirty people. A continuation on the people in diss number #3.

But today I am not simply talking about any kind of dirty people. Ya3ny I could talk about people who only bath ‘every other day’ in a climate that demands that you bath every other hour (once I overheard this American guy talking with some girls at the other table in a restaurant on how he only bathes every ‘other’ day. Ok correct me someone, because I sometimes confuse English terms but does ‘every other day’ mean like missing a day out? If it does then it is bad enough actually not bathing everyday BUT then to admit to other people(especially girls) that this is the reason for you being stanky? uff….that’s just dumb).

But today I wont rant about them.

Perhaps I can talk about how many of the non-Muslim nationalities, who get freaked out by the whole taking a dump or piss in a hole in a ground thing and using water to clean yourself afterwards. So for those who think this is nasty, let me ask you a question which is a common joke. Have you ever tried taking a bath only using dry Kleenex?

Khalas.

Ranting on this will proberly alienate half my readers, so I will overlook this subject on the ground of cultural differences and sensitivity.

BTW on toilet matters, someone already mentioned this subject on my reply section and as a man I have to repeat it ‘Men! Don’t pee on the toilet seat’! Really its nasty. Listen if you cant piss straight into a bowl you need to go see a doctor or else stoop down and do it like our parents taught us when growing up (that’s if you are Arab). And if you do pee on the seat…clean it please! Women are not equipped like men and WILL have to sit down in a puddle of your mess only coz you were to lazy to pay attention! And finally whatever you do in the toilet even if it is just to fix your agil, wash your hands afterwards. Those places are dirty.

But today I wont rant about this either.

No. This rant is about the phenomina that i mainly saw in Abu-Dhabi from a particular strata of the expat community originating from the Sub Continent. That is scratching your ‘ah-hems’ in public. Listen if you wanna play with your privates, go home to your room and do it there. If you are sharing it with 50 other people then go rent a 2 star hotel room for one months wages and play with yourself there. Don’t do it in public. Its sickening and gross.

Ok, Ok reality check. Men in the middle-east as far as I know are not likely to masturbate in public so what other reasons are you going to have to keep fiddling or scratching ur unmentionables in public for? I can only think of three reasons.

One. You think it is sexy.
Two. You are dirty.
Three. Both One and Two.

Listen it is not sexy periodically rubbing yourself in public. Who are you trying to impress? Huh? There are rarely any women around (except for those Filipina Burger K!ng staff, and believe me it doesnt take much to impress one. All you need is a white dishdasha/guthra/and a brand new polythingy mobile ringtone. With these equipment on you, all you need to do is make a casual eye contact with one and ... *KA-ching!!* you will see those two dollar signs flash up in their eyes and their world is yours...if u r into that kinda thing). But no one else is going to be impressed by your frequent handling of your meat and two veges. So I can only conclude you do it coz you are dirty. It doesn’t look good for you looking dirty. No, it just looks dirty. Oh and thats not a sexy Christina Agulaira 'Dirty'. No. Thats a not having washed in days dirty (ok, ok some say thats the same thing).

But its not just sub cons who do this but Arab’s aswell. If this is you? Don’t raise your arms when you come to me coz I am not shaking hands with you…whether that be your left of right hand, I don’t care. And if you are Local and you whisper 'khshmak' then its without hands ok? Unless… you do the 'brown nosing' thing, and if you do do that, then I dont even wanna touch you ;)

Oh yeah and on you brown nosing type ppl: you will be part of the subject matter of my next rant. So till then toodle-loo.

posted by Jassim @ 5:31 AM Comments: 11